Hello Fellows! Whoa. Am I the first person ever to discover a greeting that rhymes? Probably not. But I did just load a big bowl of this:
I feel like I might just be the first person to discover Jet City Gardens. How many of you have tried their Dream Beaver? Truthfully, I haven’t forgotten the name (Jet City Gardens, but Dream Beaver is good isn’t it) since I first read the slogan “Sixty Days Pure Cured” on Instagram a while back. I’ve scarcely crossed paths with their product on I-502 shelves since then. Turns out it’s only sold at Hashtag Recreational and Vela Cannabis in Seattle and at Buddy’s in Renton.
If you’re wondering what “cured” means, we’re talking about the same term used for describing carefully aged or marinated meats and herbs. Prior to legalization, the vast majority of good-looking weed that didn’t smell or smoke all that well was the result of a criminally-hastened drying and curing process. There were a few compelling reasons one didn’t always take utmost care in handling a freshly harvested cannabis crop. For one, drying the dense flowers takes space, time, and it can really stink a place up with penetrating aromas (none of which are conducive to illegal activity). It’s a shame that, without fear of being smelt out by the authorities or strong-armed by competition, many commercial cannabis farmers still haven’t been able to capitalize on well-cured cannabis flower.
Now onto more pertinent questions… What is a Dream Beaver? Slow down boys, The Weed Watch isn’t about that kind of bush. As the story has it, it’s made to sound like one of the Native American names that we came to love as part of the whole manifest destiny thing. Aw, his name was Spirit Bear? If only they’d known that first then they wouldn’t have shot him! I think I’m getting off topic. . .
Dream Beaver has been around since at least 2015 when it was a popular offering of the Phat Panda and Sticky Frog brands, but I always assumed it was a hybrid of the wildly popular Blue Dream, if not Blue Dream itself hiding under a novel new name. It sure looks a lot like Blue Dream. And it sures smells a lot like Blue Dream, too. It even smokes just like Blue Dream. . . But it’s not a duck. So who’s to say?
If we’re already turning to conspiracies, that still leaves the question, why change the name from Blue Dream? Well, maybe Berner and the Jungle Boys are some of Jet City’s biggest customers- but they’d never smoke the wildly popular Blue Dream- therefore Dream Beaver is the closest thing to a seemingly perfect cultivar (that isn’t Blue Dream). Don’t laugh! It wouldn’t be a stupid marketing strategy and it’d put Jet City Gardens and Bodhi Seeds way ahead of the Jungle Boys when it comes to legal cannabis business. But that’s another story about a producer who seriously thought signing an [il]legal contract automatically meant rolling up to any Have a Heart dispensary and making its office the VIP lounge for his birthday party or whatever it was. Don’t feel too Berned out, though, you win some, you Bern some. In reality it’s not like Have a Heart really came out on top now that Blue Dream Inc. isn’t exclusive to their retail chains. Unless they’re taking a stack or two of cash as part of that contract. If that’s the case, they should’ve known to call Saul.
If you’re furiously scrolling through this text trying to find my review of the actual weed, here it is: It’s like Blue Dream. No, really. A little less racy, with a heavier comedown. But I might have just made that last part up. Seriously, what do you want me to say? It’s earthy, almost woody, but still sweet and spicy, and plenty potent. A “sativa” that manages to pack an intense body high which tapers off but lingers as long as the racing thoughts do. Happy?
Do I notice the “pure cured” effect? Perhaps I’m a sucker for cannabis branding, but this smoke is smooth! The stems are firm and snap easily when bent which makes breaking it down with your fingers (or a grinder) quick and easy. When lit, it stays lit all the way down to the last bit. Dry, but by no means stale. I’ll let you guys know if the impression wears off, but its hard to think past the last one or two times I’ve bought I-502 weed I could enjoy fully without any respiratory kickback.